oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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