I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
