I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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