She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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