You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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