even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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