Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
