we're blogging at a bar
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
