at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
