So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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