But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize