So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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