It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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