I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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