Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
