There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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