I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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