i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
