Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
