Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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