I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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