haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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