its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
