I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Found your dick twin last night
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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