I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize