Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
