May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize