So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
