remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.