Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.

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(708): View more from Illinois

She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.

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(619): View more from California

i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already

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(916): View more from California

Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.

(910): View more from North Carolina

Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.

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(760): View more from California

drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care

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(914): View more from New York

When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.

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(847): View more from Illinois

So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.

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