He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
