Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize