Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
