using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
