it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
