i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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