Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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