Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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