Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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