is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
