Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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