Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
