You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize