Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize