he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize