Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
They are going to name an STD after you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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