i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
