Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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