So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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