i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
