so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
it's like iHOP with fire
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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