Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
