I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
