Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
